Any Way the Wind Blows Page 5

  I was about to earn the foul-mouthed part of my apparent reputation, but Jo stepped out, scowling, shoulders back. "I did not string you along!" She stormed forward until they were eye to eye, until he took a step back, seemingly without realizing it. "I don't want to date you," she continued. "You know I don't want to date you, my entire family knows I don't want to date you, and you're all trying to push me into it. If I wanted to date you, you wouldn't need to convince me."

  Aaron seemed a little shaken, but he still tried to hold his ground against her. "Please, Josie," he said, and boy had more balls than I thought, because he actually scoffed. "You always tried to play hard to get—"

  "I wasn't playing hard to get!" she barked, cutting him off. "I just didn't want to date you!"

  People were openly staring now, and Aaron was starting to sweat. "You're making a scene, Josie."

  Jo's eyes went poisonous. "Don't call me Josie. If you didn't want me to make a scene, you shouldn't have stopped me in the fucking street and acted like I owed you something!" He flinched as she shouted at him, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. "I'm not even a lesbian—not that it matters, but not every woman who won't fuck you is a lesbian, Aaron." Jo started to storm off and I turned to follow, placing my hand in between her shoulders in an attempt to calm her. Aaron, in a likely attempt to get the last word, mumbled, "What a bitch."

  She twirled around and stalked right up to him, standing close in his space, getting right up in his face. "What the fuck did you say?"

  Aaron's face went white, and he backed off so quickly that I couldn't help but laugh. One of the people passing by actually clapped. Then, Jo was laughing too, loud and hard enough that it was almost a little crazed. When she looked at me, her eyes were watering, and she was grinning from ear to ear.

  "Are you okay?" I touched her arm, my eyebrows knitting together. It difficult to tell if she actually found it funny or if she was having a small breakdown. Honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if it were both.

  "I am great," she said, when she'd caught her breath enough to speak. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to say that."

  I laughed too, and slipped my hand into hers. Aaron was out of sight, and the onlookers were dispersing. "Come on, let's get out of here." She let me lead her to the car, still chuckling every now and then.

  We drove around a long time without any real destination, at least that I knew of. I guess she knew, though, because eventually we pulled onto a dirt road I didn't even see, until we were parked in the middle of an abandoned field. We kicked off our shoes and she spread a blanket into the bed of her truck before we climbed in to lie shoulder to shoulder. The moonless night was clear, and the stars were brighter than I'd ever seen them as we listened to something unfamiliar playing softly from her iPod. I took her hand, and she held it tight.

  "It's already gotten back to them," she said, breaking a good forty minutes of silence. She showed me the seven missed calls notifications on her phone.

  I winced and squeezed her hand. "Shit."

  "Yeah." She turned the notifications off and put it away, leaning her head into my shoulder. "It's going to be hell when I get back."

  "It's not your fault." I rolled over to my side, searching out her eyes in the darkness, and then waiting until mine adjusted so I could see them clearly. "You can't date someone for them." The fact that that even needed saying was ridiculous. I didn't see how her family could think otherwise.

  "I know," she whispered as she closed her eyes and pressed her head into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, tucking my chin on top of her head. She said, "I wouldn't, I just hoped eventually, they'd forget. But they're not going to, and it's never going to get any better."

  She started to say something else, but her voice cracked and her breath hitched. I held her and made soft shushing sounds tighter as she shook in my arms. Wet spots soaked through the front of my dress.

  "I'm ace too," she choked out finally, clutching my side hard enough that I felt her blunt nails through my dress. I shut my eyes tight against the burning as I stroked her hair, trying to hold myself together even though my heart ached for her. She went on, "I don't know what kind, exactly, but I think I might be aromantic. I used to think there was something wrong with me, and when you explained it, I started reading about it. It was like a light turned on. Suddenly there was a word for the way I'd felt forever. But they won't understand, and I can't just sit here and pretend like I'm ever going to do what they want."

  "I'm sorry," I said, and the words felt pitiful, not enough and not at all was I was trying to tell her. I tried to remember what I had wished someone to say to me when I was coming out, but I was coming up empty. "Thank you for telling me," I said instead. I just hugged her closer, rubbing small circles into her back.

  Eventually, she stopped crying and relaxed into me. I pulled back from her to wipe her at her cheeks, and she gave me a watery smile. "Thanks, Callie."

  Like she had anything to thank me for. I kissed her cheek, and smiled back. "Of course, babe."

  *~*~*

  I don't know how long we stayed out there, but eventually we climbed back in the truck and made our way back. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, we were rattling down the farm's gravel drive. When our headlights lit up the front porch, they revealed Mark sitting there, as well as some other, older man. There were a lot more cars than usual in the lot, too. When we got out, Mark started toward the truck.

  "Maybe we should go," I said, holding Jo's arm. It was taking everything I had just to stay calm; it was stupid, but even just the sight of Mark made my heart race.

  "I won't let anything happen to you," she whispered, and when she stood up straight, I suddenly remembered that she had been a soldier. It was impossible to forget, seeing at her like that.

  "Josefina, I swear to God you better get into that house," Mark shouted his gestures wide and violent. "And you." He pointed to me, but Jo neatly cut him off, stepping in front of him and staring him down. He glared back. "I said get inside, girl."

  "Don't tell me what to do, Mark," she said, her voice steady and terrifyingly calm. "I am not a girl. I am an adult, I own my own business, and I am a veteran of the United States Army. I do not need my brother, or anyone else, to run my life for me." She stepped forward, forcing Mark take a step back even though he had a good few inches on her. "And I swear to God," she growled, the first display of emotion since she'd gotten out of the truck. "If I ever hear about threatening or intimidating a woman again? I will kick your ass. You know I can."

  Mark backed off a little, but still pointed at me over Jo's shoulder. "I want that bitch off my property."

  "Shut the hell up, Mark. She's leaving tomorrow. It's one in the morning. It's not going to hurt anyone to have her here one more night. Now go inside, and let's talk."

  Once Mark had turned to walk inside, I gripped her arm tight, keeping her from following. "Don't go," I pleaded. "I've got a bad feeling about this. Please don't go."

  Jo kissed the top of my head. "It'll be alright, Callie. Mark's all talk, and my daddy won't do anything. Mama is here too, and she won't let anything happen. It'll be okay." She smoothed her hand down my arm. "Don't worry. Go back to your cabin."

  I wished I was reassured. As soon as they were inside, I walked quick as I could back to the trailer with my keys between my fingers. Jo said that Mark was all talk, but Jo was family; I didn't know what he or some other family member might do to someone they saw as the bad guy. I wasn't sticking around to find out, either, not when the bus station was a two mile walk as the crow flies.

  I tromped through the fields, glad that it wasn't hunting season and using my phone as a flash light. It was late and I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, so it took me nearly an hour to get there. I got a couple of odd looks as I slid into the booth at the all-night dinner, looking haggard in a dress and boots caked thick with mud, but they served me pancakes and coffee all the same, and I was grateful
for it.

  I was dozing when my phone buzzed, startling me awake. I breathed a sigh of relief at Jo's number on my lock screen.

  Where are you? Are you okay?

  I walked into town. I typed back, feeling a little regretful. Sorry, it's not that I didn't trust you. I just couldn't stay there any longer. I was terrified. I still was, if I was perfectly honest.

  I'm sorry. I shouldn't have expected you to stay there by yourself. Do you want me to come into town?

  No, that's okay. You're exhausted, and I traded for an earlier ticket, though. I'll be gone by five.

  There was a long pause, and then my phone was ringing. It was Jo, and I picked up immediately.

  "Hey, Jo."

  "Hey, Callie." There was a long silence, neither of us really sure what to say. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about everything. I could kill Mark for talking to you like that."

  "Thanks. I don't regret it though." I scrubbed my hands over my eyes. As tired as I was, it was hard to have this conversation without getting way too emotional for a pancake house. "I-I wanted to stay, Jo. I want you to know that. I never stay anywhere, staying in the same place with the same people makes me feel trapped, and it always has. My mom used to tell me I was flighty, that I'd go any way the wind blew, and it was true. But I wanted to, with you."

  Jo's breath rattled in my ear, and I wondered if she was crying. I hoped not. I still had her tearstains on my dress. I didn't want her to cry twice today.

  "I wish you could stay too, Callie. I wanted to go with you, but… I can't. I need to stay here."

  "I know. It's okay."

  We were quiet, just the hum of the phone line between us. I guess the waitress decided to give me some privacy, since I was the only customer. Jo cleared her throat a few times, and when she spoke, her voice was rough. "I love you, Callie. Not like—not like that. It's like—well, you know."

  "Yeah, I know." I couldn't help but smile a little, because. Yeah. I really did. "I love you too, Jo."

  We stayed on the phone line for hours, not really saying anything, just unwilling to let go. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep but I still stayed on the line, past the sun rise, listening to her breathe until it was time to go.

  *~*~*

  "Leanne, I'm back!" I yelled through the farm house as I dropped the grocery bags to pull off my thick winter coat and boots. It'd been a while since I'd been up north during the winter, but the couple I'd done my internship with needed a hand through the season, and I was trying out this new thing where I didn't abandon all my relationships. Jo taught me about that, and it'd been good for me. Even if I really hadn't missed New England winters.

  "She's out cutting down that Christmas tree," Doc called from the kitchen. Doc was Leanne's husband, a very sweet man in his fifties who'd just recently gone through surgery. He was a workhorse, and even with my help, we were just barely getting by.

  "By herself?" I hauled the grocery bags onto the counter and started pulling the gallon Ball jars out of the pantry, getting ready to restock our dried goods.

  "Nah, she got some help. The new girl got here today, she's helping her haul it in now."

  "Oh, you guys finally found someone? Thank god. I hope you're proud that it takes two of us to fill your shoes, Doc." I started to dump the flour into a jar, my nose wrinkling as it came out too quickly, sending up a white cloud of dust. "What's her name?"

  When Doc didn't answer, I turned and looked at him. His looked very pleased with himself, eyes shining with mischief, but I only noticed it for a second. In the window behind him, I spotted a black Ford pick-up parked out back.

  "Doc," I said slowly, and my voice sounded far away to my own ears. "What's her name?"

  "Jo, you go on in first," I heard from the back door. I tore through the house, my hand still coated in flour, Doc laughing behind me. There was Jo, carrying in one end of the Christmas tree, which she and Leanne both dropped when they saw me coming. Good thing too, because I barreled into Jo hard enough to knock her back against the wall.

  "Hey Callie." Jo chuckled, the puff of breath hot against my neck as she held me tight against her chest. I pressed my head tight into the curve of her shoulder and breathed her in. She smelled off, all fresh snow and evergreen and not enough engine grease, but she felt exactly the same.

  "You're here." I could feel the fabric of her coat go damp under me from my tears, and I squeezed her tighter, like she'd disappear if I let go. "I can't believe you're here. Wait, why are you here?" California was a long ways off from Vermont, something I'd forgotten in the excitement. "Are you here for Christmas?"

  "Nah." She just smiled at my confusion and drew her sleeve over her palm to dry my face. "I'm helping out these folks for the winter." She gestured to where Leanne and Doc were watching us with big grins, and somehow Leanne had managed to drag the tree in behind us without me even realizing it. "And then I thought maybe I'd stay with you. If you want."

  "Oh, my god, yes." I surged up to kiss her cheek, cupping her face in my hands. She pressed her forehead to mine, and as I stroked her cheek, my thumb dragged through her tears. "But what about your shop? I thought you were trying to get that place in town?"

  She grinned and shook her head. "Nah, that was just a cover. I was selling all my equipment, just didn't want to get your hopes up, in case something fell through."

  "Oh my god." I couldn't believe it. She was actually here, to stay, with me.

  We kept hugging like we couldn't let go, only separating with Leanne shooed us further into the house. "Come on, Cal," She laughed as she dropped rag towels on the floor to sop up all the melted snow. "Let her get her wet things off. You've got all the time in the world to hug."

  I finally released her, because Leanne was right. Jo was here, and neither of us were going anywhere.

  EPILOGUE

  "Callie!"

  I shielded my eyes from the sun as I scanned the field, trying to pick out Jo among the bodies filling the field. When she called my name again, this time with a wave, I saw her—all the way on the other side. I gestured for her to come to me instead, pointing at my heavily pregnant belly as an excuse. She just grinned and rolled her eyes, and pulled out her phone.

  You can make it through there, read the text that came through a few moments later.

  I knew she was teasing, but I played along and gave her a disbelieving look before replying with, When you get pregnant and everyone knocks into your belly, then I'll do the walking. Til then, you're just shit out of luck.

  I could hear her laugh from across the way, but she gave me a thumbs up and started to make her way across. Satisfied that she was coming over, I took a few steps back and lowered myself into one of the plastic lawn chairs. We joked about it, but it had honestly gotten harder for me to stand up for long periods of time in just the last week or so. I felt exhausted all the time, so I closed my eyes rested, right up until I felt Jo kiss the top of my head with a warm, "Hey Callie."

  "Hey, Jo." I opened my eyes and hummed happily in thanks at the mug of warm cider she passed over to me. "Damn, we had a good turn out."

  The crowd was a mix of our employees, our families, some friends, and just about every single one of our CSA members. The party was our very first CSA and farm stand end-of-season celebration. It'd been a long time coming, too. It'd been six years ago since she'd surprised me up at Leanne's farm, and we'd spent the next couple years traveling together. Just when we'd started to itch for something permanent, we'd tripped over an amazing, run-down farm and bought it for a song, even if it meant spending two long years living in a tent and doing most of the work ourselves. Jo had opened an auto shop on the property right as we moved in that was doing great, and most recently, we'd decided to have a kid together.

  Suffice to say, we'd been busy.

  Jo pulled her chair and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, sipping her own hard cider. I tried not to be jealous, but it must have not been very convincing, because she still gave me an apologetic look. "Want me to
get rid of it?"

  I rolled my eyes fondly. "Of course not. The only thing worse than not being able to drink is to see a drink be wasted." I rubbed circles into the space between her shoulders. "You know I don't mind. But, hey, what were you calling me for?"

  "Oh, right. I just wanted to let you know I talked to Leah a few minutes ago. She agreed to go full time over the winter, so I'll be able to do maternity leave too."

  "Awesome." That would really save my ass. The shop was the main breadwinner while we were still finding our feet with the farm, and if Leah hadn't stepped up in the shop, I would have been stuck doing most of the baby work alone. "Does she drink? Send her home with all the leftover beer and cookies, if she does."

  I just shrugged it off with a smile and leaned into her shoulder. She smelled like sun and dirt and engine grease—like home.

  It baffled a lot of people, this thing we'd developed. We had two businesses together, owned a home together, were even having a child together, but we weren't in a relationship. We hugged each other and kissed each other on the foreheads and the cheeks and, on occasion, even a peck on the lips, but we weren't attracted to each other. We were committed and loved each other with all our hearts, but we weren't romantic. The two seemed mutually exclusive to a lot of people, but neither of us cared what other people thought. This thing we built was unconventional, but we were happy, and more importantly? It was ours.

  I smiled as Jo put her hand on my belly, and took another sip of my cider. "Well, I'd say we did pretty good, didn't we?"

  Jo smiled back, and tucked one of my stray curls under my headband. "Yeah, we did good."

  FIN

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Carlin Grant is a queer writer who likes to keep the focus on LGBTQIA+ characters and has a sweet tooth for romance. Growing up in backwoods North Carolina left them with a love for the culture, characters and folklore that are deeply rooted in the rural South, and these themes often end up filtering into their stories.